So, my friend (who shall remain nameless for now) went on a date with this guy the other night. Of course a first date is ALWAYS followed by a debriefing session; and because you usually have about 5 debriefing sessions on an average Thursday night, they usually occur via Whatsapp; in order to reduce costs and maximise efficiency (JWITs love efficiency).
Mastering a successful dating strategy is basically about firstly, identifying potential compatibility in the market, and then finding a simple solution for execution, with the lowest labour intensive approach as possible (this is based on your risk analysis that the date is likely to be an absolute fail with 80:20 odds).
After all, time is money right?
Please refer to the below Whatsapp transcript for example:
…Okay so maybe this conversation didn’t take place totally sober…however; the fact that my mind immediately goes to a Baoli in Cannes, and a giant glass of rose when I see the word ‘Nice’ is perhaps, an indication that either;
a) I should reconsider my levels of alcohol consumption,
or, b) that my choice of men is bordering on concerning…
Please excuse my candidness; but describing a man as nice is either code for ‘they didn’t look like their picture, and they probably bench press 40s,’ or ‘I nearly fell asleep as they told me about their career ambitions in property.’ I know this makes me sound like an absolute bitch; but the truth is that being too nice is a turn off. Sad, but true. However; ignore me for a week and I’m unequivocally yours!
So, what is it about niceness that sends shivers up my spine? Don’t get me wrong; I am a firm believer that chivalry is not dead, yet I can’t seem to stand by my own beliefs in practice.
Perhaps it’s because I am just so damaged by the heartbreak of my past relationships, that I couldn’t possibly allow myself to trust a man again, so I always go for the ‘wrong-uns’.
…This theory is unlikely considering I seem to trust anyone with a six-pack and/or puppy…
OR…maybe it’s because the bad boys own motorbikes?
Alternatively; maybe it’s because I enjoy the chase and the challenge of getting something that is hard to get. That’s why our legs are so toned; we’re constantly climbing up that giant mountain to your ice cold heart (JWITs are very ambitious).
…Nailed it (and in record time of course).
Whatever the reason is; the old saying ‘treat them mean, keep them keen’ is profoundly relatable both as the giver and the receiver. Apparently there’s something irresistibly sexy about being emotionally unavailable and a bit of a moron. Just tell me you’re not into me one more time please, and I’ll basically be planning our wedding.
We have created a dating culture where being too nice is mistaken for being too easy…Yet, finding love should not be a competition, nor should it be an achievement. So why can’t we just stop playing these games and enjoy the easy ride? From my experience the prize is often a huge (or even small) disappointment anyway.
So perhaps it’s time to rethink our perception of nice; and if not there’s always Nice…
Au revoir xoxo